i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
