the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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