WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
