Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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