I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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