Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My pussy is not your playground.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
