I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
