ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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