you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
