it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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