And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
