Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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