She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
