sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
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You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
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I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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