Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
