pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
