Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
