One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
