I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
