I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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