Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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