Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
