Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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