Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
