I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
