All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
