Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
