She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The air was thick with penises
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
