Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
