I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
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Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
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You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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