I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
