I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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