I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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