why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
