Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
