No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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