Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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