Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
