I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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