Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
