So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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