you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I am naked and annoyed.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize