Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
