I just saw a hot homeless man
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I could fuck to npr.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
