you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
