Can i not drive my cunt home
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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