i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
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Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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