is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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