So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
