.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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