i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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