Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
