do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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