Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We were destined to go to rehab together
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
