Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When are your genitals available?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
