You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Mom said you looked used
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got inside last night via doggy door
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
