Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
