I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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