Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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