My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize