Ambien. No doubt about it.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
