I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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