You're my little dorito
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
