That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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