i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
