We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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